
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Dozens gather to bid farewell to Joe Mohr

Underground Hotel shakes, rattles and rolls the park on Fourth Friday
It's Over So Soon
It's Over So Soon
By Mike Clark
By now, most of us are back to our routine day to day.
The Christmas tree stands lifeless in the corner of the room where, just days ago, it was imbued with a certain seasonal magic—a magic especially obvious at night when its lights glowed warmly, and the bright, shiny ornaments reflected the illumination in a colorful palette of red, green, blue, silver, and gold throughout the room.
The electrical plug now droops over a bottom branch. Nobody notices; the lights remain cold. The tree has seen its best days, done its holiday duty, and will soon be stripped of its finery.
The township mulch pile is the next stop for some trees. Others will be placed in giant bags and placed curbside on trash-removal day. There are tiring days ahead for those who must heave the woody remains onto a truck.
In the meantime, some gifts remain under the tree. Sweater sleeves appear to slither over the shallow sides of their boxes to touch the floor, chain-store tags dangle from bathrobes and slippers, and returnable items are bagged up and ready to go back to the mall at the next convenient moment.
The best gifts are already in use. That’s not to say that sweaters, slippers, and bathrobes aren’t great gifts. They are. It’s just that most people do not feel compelled to model slippers and robes when they’re outside the home. It would just be odd. There’s not much about those items that elicit admiration and approval, anyway.
As for sweaters, I haven’t looked good in one since I was young and almost slim (maybe not slim, but a lot less bulgy).
Stockings will be taken down, and not necessarily with the care in which they were hung; I yank, and tacks fly. They land in places where only bare feet can find them. The small stuffers of pen sets, bottles of fragrance, candy bars, shaving razors, and all sorts of other knickknackery have been whisked away.
I shook my stocking out several times. I’m convinced it was only hung to add symmetry to the lineup; I didn’t ask.
Listen, it’s all good. I have little use for pen sets; the ink is nearly dried up in the ones I already own. My bottle of Old Spice is almost full. It’s obvious that I don’t need candy bars. I mostly use an electric razor, when I remember to charge it. And I certainly have no use for knickknacks and the dust they collect.
It’s a new year. We embrace hope and the idea of a do-over for mistakes, poor decisions, and bad habits that have hindered our aspirations and relationships. We vow to be better. We will lose weight, quit smoking, be more patient with our spouses and children, unselfishly serve mankind, and make other resolutions, numerous and diverse.
We will invariably fail to follow through on some of our loftier aims. It happens because we are human. Being human is a good general excuse for why we often fall short of our grand schemes.
But resilience of spirit is another aspect of being human. When we fail, we feel challenged. We back up, take a running start, and head for the goal, again and again. That’s when good things happen, and we become better human beings. Keep at it—you’ll see.
Happy New Year.
Mike Clark writes a regular column for The Globe Leader newspaper in New Wilmington, Pa. He has a Bachelor of Science degree in organizational behavior/applied psychology from Albright College. Mike lives outside Columbia, Pa., and can be contacted at mikemac429@aol.com.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Last round of citizen comments
Vern Detz: "I feel as though this is a disservice to the taxpayers of Columbia, and I think everyone that voted for this without doing the due diligence should resign. I really don't think you have the best interest of Columbia at your forefront. I believe that the intent may have been there. We rushed it. We didn't dot all the I's and cross all the T's. I believe it's going to cost more than 165 [thousand dollars] that's being thrown out there. Some of my questions earlier and the answers I got kind of justifies that statement. We need to have leaders and not followers. I heard a comment and I will not use the name, but I will share the comment, that we must to do what Mr. Strickler and Dr. Klawitter want us to do. A board member made that statement knows who it is. I want it out there that I believe this is a terrible deal for the taxpayers of Columbia."
Frank Doutrich: "I'd like to tell the board and Mr. Hollister why I'm here. I'm here because of the $22 million debt we have. I'm here because a school board member resigns, and the next thing I know a director of operations that comes into play. But I'm really here too, to tell you my tax bill is $13,000, and I'm here to find out or to see where my money is going or what my money is going for. Also, yes I care about the kids. I care about the interest on that $22 million. What could that be doing for the kids? I was concerned enough to attend the meeting of the whole, come there ask questions, got some answers to the questions, and then I was told go to ELANCO, we don't have the other answers to your questions. I was told by Ken Klawitter, told by some members of the board. So, I traveled to ELANCO and when it come comment time, I missed it so I had to stand up next to some other things on since that. The chairman [ELANCO Board President Glenn Yoder] said you can't speak, you're not a resident of ELANCO school district. How he knew that I don't know, he never asked me where I was from, so I had a feeling they knew somebody was coming from Columbia. So then you, Dr. Hollister, said you would meet with us in the back, after the meeting and pass the comments on. We got about a five minute session with you and then you had to go to a meeting. I still had a lot of questions then. I'd like to also tell you is when you come to Columbia don't only stay at the school, walk downtown, go down Locust Street, talk to the people, see what they think about high taxes in the town. The people that has to move out, it's a shame. I - like other people - I tried to get to the bottom of it, but not everybody will speak out as Kathy did here tonight. I respect anyone that would set the record straight. Really, really, I really appreciate that. Thank you very much."
Sharon Lintner: "Is the board seat still vacant?"
Unknown [believed to be Hollister or Knighton]: "Yes."
Lintner: "Ok, if I misunderstood Kathy - I hope I did - during your comment you said there was name calling by the board. Is that what you said or did I misunderstand that?"
Lintner: "That would be bullying, and we ask the students not to do that. We would hope the board would be set to a higher standard. And I think disagreeing with someone else's opinion is part of having a democracy, and I think civilized people need to respect each other. How do you expect to fill a board seat if people find out about that? Who would want to sit there and if they disagree they're going to be called names?"
Superintendent Robert Hollister: "That was my decision, based on his resume and experiences. The fact that he had a number of startups that he did in his career, the large number of folks that he supervised at one time. I felt that was justified. That was my decision."
Groom: "I was in the meeting of the whole last Thursday, and I asked the question about how much this is saving the school district. Dr. Klawitter said $8,000, I think was the figure that was thrown out. The paper said $6,300. I don't know if its $8,000 or $6,300, but the paper also said then that $30,000 is going into ELANCO's general fund. Now, can somebody explain to me why we have to pay ELANCO $30,000 to save $6,300 or $8,000?
Hohenadel: "ELANCO's contract that's been approved by the board - the number that is listed there represents several costs, since we do have Dr. Hollister 20% of the time, that number that you just quoted represents about 20% of his salary. We're also paying the costs of the director of operations, and we're paying some of those other costs that were listed earlier by Mr. Detz. But the total cost that Mrs. Anspach and I both believe we agreed to is not to exceed $165,000 in total - was our understanding, so that is what we had presented to the board. That's what we believe the agreement to say, and I hope it sticks to that this year, not to exceed the $165,000 in total. But the portion you said represents since we have Dr. Hollister 20% of the time, we pay the equivalent of 20% of his salary. He, however, cannot collect that, because that would be an ethics violation - on the advice of his attorney - so that number pays for his salary, but goes into their fund."
Hollister: "You've hired, for a reasonable price, a very experienced superintendent. You folks don't know a lot about Eastern Lancaster County, I'm assuming, but our financial house is in order. In six years we're debt-free. Talk about 22 million, Frank, we're debt-free in six. We'll have a two million dollar surplus in six years, the year I retire. So, my hope is that we can bring some of that financial prudence to the school district here. You wouldn't find that in a superintendent who had no experience, because it takes years to understand where to find all those savings. How to re-negotiate contracts, everything from trash disposal, snow removal all those contracts, you get better at negotiating that with experience. So, I understand what you're saying about the $8,000 doesn't sound like a lot of money, but when you start bringing some of that experience in, in a year's time, we'll know what other money we found for you."
Groom: "With the shared superintendent, I was hoping it would be a 50/50. I understand you're only going to be here one day a week, which is kind of disappointing."
Hollister: "My parents in ELANCO are saying why should we share him at all? I cannot take a dime for this position. I've got two communities I've got to keep happy."
Groom: "I understand when Mr. Strickler resigned from the board, there was a motion to make Mr. Knighton president and I'm just curious was anyone else nominated? Was Ms. Hohenadel nominated since she is vice president?"
Groom: "Isn't that kind of a slap in the face to Ms. Hohenadel? I mean, she's vice president, she's good enough to cover the meeting when the president isn't there, but nobody wanted to promote her up to the president. It just seems, it just doesn't seem right."
Board member Charles Leader: "I was out of the country at that time. I wasn't here to make any vote. I asked this the other night at a meeting, and no one could tell me if they follow Robert's Rules on this board. No one seemed to know. In Kathy's defense and anybody's defense, the first person goes down, the person number two goes into that spot, so I think that's a gross oversight."
Knighton: "I believe it's in our policy - board policy that that's not the case, it doesn't have to be that way. I know that would be the perception, but it doesn't have to be that way."
Leader: "I think ethically it should be that way."
Fran Resch: "I was at a meeting of the whole last week, and it just surprised me that Kathy Hohenadel was not given any consideration at all to move into the position of the president. Everybody seems to have good answers, but it almost seemed contrived that going into that meeting somebody was told to make a motion and that was it. I questioned at that meeting why that happened and nobody could give me an answer. I'm a former board member, I resigned because [according to the newspaper] it was all because of health reasons, but as you can see I don't look too unhealthy, I don't think. I think I look pretty good for 70 years old. I questioned that because I wanted my letter to be put in its entirety and read before the board, and I don't think it was. I just pray that the board continues on the right path. I congratulate Kathy for the nice letter that she read tonight. I think she was put under a lot of pressure and she seems to take the brunt of it."
Kat Oliver at SCCA on Fourth Friday
Kat states, "I started photographing with my grandfather's 1942 Pentax film camera. I quickly fell in love with the art of photography, but most importantly- the delicacy of film. Shooting with film created this movement in me that allowed me to fall in love with ideas and concepts, rather than a specific photo I wanted to capture."
Thanks for your continued support and we hope to see you at our 4th Friday opening.
Susquehanna Center for the Creative Arts
224 Locust Street
Columbia, PA 17512
717-576-9628 or 717-580-9031
www.sccaartstore.com
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Email ELANCO to get your voice heard
jonathan_dahl@elanco.org
paul_irvin@elanco.org
rodney_jones@elanco.org (vice president)
dina_maio@elanco.org
bryan_naranjo@elanco.org
melissa_readman@elanco.org
thomas_wentzel@elanco.org
jennifer_zeiset@elanco.org
keith_ramsey@elanco.org
Don't tell me it's raining
More citizen comments from the August 18 school board meeting
Resident (and former board member) Quinn Hartman: "First of all I'd like to say I've been on the board nine and a half years and never seen this many people in the audience. I wish it was like this every meeting. When I heard about this idea of the shared superintendent, I thought man what a great concept, it solves our problems. I'm thinking this should save us fifty, sixty thousand dollars a year, so when I heard it only saves $8,000, I was disappointed. This contract that the board agreed to, can we define Garden Spot as a third party vendor?"
Attorney Michael Grab: "Well, they're a separate entity with whom we have a contract. Under certain circumstances a separate entity could be considered a third party vendor, I don't know if that would qualify under these circumstances, but there's certainly a separate and distinct legal entity from the Columbia Borough School District."
Hartman: "According to Title 65, Chapter 11, Section 1102, definition. And it states, define a "Conflict or conflict of interest as use by a public official or public employee of the authority of his or her office or any confidential information received through his or her holding public office or employment for the private pecuniary benefit of him or herself, a member of his or her immediate family, or a business in which he or she is a member of, or his/her immediate family is associated.
"Does anyone dispute that definition? I mean I'm reading right out of the (inaudible). So, if I understand the events correctly, the current director of operations was a sitting board member when we made this decision to go into this contract, is that your take?"
Grab: "Yeah, that's correct."
Hartman: "Was the position itself approved while he was sitting on the board?"
Grab: "When the statement of work was approved by this board it included provisions both for the simultaneous superintendent for Dr. Hollister and for a position called Director of Operations, so that was definitely included in the statement of work."
Hartman: "Ok, so we agree that he was sitting on the board at that time, is that what you're saying?"
Grab: "Mr. Strickler was sitting on the board at the time that the statement of work was approved by the board, now he did recuse himself from any participation in the approval of that."
Hartman: "Whether he recused himself or not, he was still there then, he was still in the know about what happened.
"When both parties were supposed to vote on it, I think there was a discussion earlier about that, delaying the vote, changing the date, why was that done?"
Superintendent Dr. Robert Hollister: "I was still checking references and I didn't get references checked in time. There were ten candidates, I interviewed five, I checked references for three and that took longer than I hoped it would, while folks got back to me from vacations, so I had to delay the hiring of the person I eventually chose."
Hartman: "So, we really didn't fulfill the contract terms. We were supposed to vote on that date, according to the contract."
Hollister: "July 18."
Hartman: "Columbia School Board didn't have any say in the delay?"
Hollister: "No."
Hartman: "Just trying to make that clear. We don't consider any of this a conflict of interest based on the definition I just read?"
Grab: "I do not."
Hartman: "You don't think its a conflict of interest?"
Grab: "A conflict of interest for whom? Are you talking about for Mr. Strickler?"
Hartman: "What I'm talking about is a sitting board member, it's pretty clear to me confidential information received through his authority of job counts as a conflict of interest. Still sitting on the board while you're making decisions count as a conflict of interest?"
Grab: "Quinn I understand what you're saying, but my understanding is that Mr. Strickler recused himself from any votes to approve a statement of work or anything to do with the director of operations, so under those circumstances he's not actively participating in that process for approval of documents, so there's certainly is no - facially any conflict of interest with regard to the approval of the statement of work, is what I would say."
Hartman: "No public employee or his or her spouse or any business, which in this case would be Garden Spot, in which the person or his or her spouse is associated shall benefit in any contract valued at $500 or more with the school district or any subcontract valued at $500 or more with any person who has been awarded a contract with a school district unless the contract has been awarded through an open and public process including prior public notice and subsequent public disclosure of all proposals considered and contracts awarded. Now, this actually comes from this board's policy manual. Now the question I have then is, was this an open and public process? Last week's meeting the board didn't have a whole lot of answers to some of the questions that were asked.
Hollister: "I didn't have an answer to every question that was asked. I don't think anyone ever did."
Hartman: "The public didn't really have a chance to discuss the information, if it's not a public process this doesn't meet the definition of this policy. Were proposals sought out? Did you check with any other school districts?"
Grab: "This is a concept that is really outside the intended structure of those kinds of statutes it's all about a standard kind of contract for contracted services this is obviously an [inaudible] of two districts trying to combine their executive, supervisory duties, so I would say that all of those strictures under these circumstances wouldn't necessarily apply. For example, you talked about ELANCO being a third party vendor under these circumstances, while you may be able to generally describe it as that, it certainly is not exclusive because it's a separate school district and so it wouldn't fall clearly into that category, so I'm saying that this is certainly a bit of a different animal, and I'm not saying that you're not raising legitimate issues for the board to consider, but it doesn't fit squarely and neatly within all of those those established parameters. I think everybody acknowledges that, even PDE, Pennsylvania Department of Education."
Hartman: "In that definition, I consider this position is rendering service to Columbia Borough School District through the third party vendor of Garden Spot. In my mind that violates the conflict of interest. You have to have the ethics, if ethics aren't there we don't belong in business. This is the last thing I want to say pretty much to the whole board is you basically gave up control of your school district for $8,000. I just disagree with how we went about this, great idea, but I disagree with $8,000, It should have been a lot more. Somehow it should have been negotiated a little more, in my opinion."
The Power Of Neighbors
And the value of "hyperlocal" reporting:
http://www.ourtownny.com/local-news/20160824/the-power-of-neighbors&template=mobileArticle
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Petition started to investigate the death of Ibram Hanna
15-year-old Ibram Hanna was shot dead in Mountville, PA on the morning of Friday, August 12th. In under 11 hours, the Lancaster County District Attorney's Office under Craig Stedman issued a press release that it was accidental and the 17-year-old shooter would be tried as a juvenile.
There are several erroneous statements in the DA's press release which implied these were the only two boys in the home where he was shot and that they were friends and were "looking at the gun" when it went off.
It is impossible that a thorough investigation of this murder could have been completed within 11 hours. It borders on ridiculous.
The U.S. Department of Justice needs to investigate this murder and review the actions of the West Hempfield Township Police Department and the Lancaster County District Attorney's Office.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Hall of Fame to honor Class of 2016 on Sept. 16
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Citizens speak out about ELANCO contract at August 18 school board meeting
Business Manager Amy Light:"During public comment, it's really not appropriate for a board to respond. The reason for the job title changes is to better reflect a more accurate picture of what those duties entail. There were some changes in food service department, and so they requested to change job titles and modify job descriptions a little bit to better reflect what is actually occurring in the food service department."
Groom: "Have their responsibilities changed?"
Light: "There were no major changes to job responsibilities. There were minor changes to job duties.
Groom: "Were there pay increases?"
Light: "No, there were no salary changes."
Attorney Michael Grab: "The purpose of that is to simply conform the existing statement that was approved by the board at the previous meeting to the actual start dates that the superintendent began, so the original start dates of the SOW [Statement of Work] didn't reflect what the actual dates were, which is August 9."
"On 6-14-16 at the committee of the whole meeting, the ELANCO contract was approved. So it brings me to June 16...If we are entering into this contract with ELANCO, why did we approve to the continuation of Dr. Klawitter as an acting superintendent, from July 1 at an annual salary of $115,000? Klawitter's position will end on the first day that a permanent superintendent officially takes office or December 21, 2016, whichever is first. To receive a full complement of sick, personal, and vacation days given to administrators. Were we paying $115,000 for a six-month contract?"
Light: "That was an annual salary - $115,000 and pro-rated by the number of days he actually worked."
Detz: "Was his last day August 8, 9 or is he actually still employed?"
ELANCO Superintendent Dr. Robert Hollister: "Everything took a little longer than we thought, so we had to keep Dr. Klawitter on past his original agreement of July 1. Technically, I am the superintendent of record as of last week. So, he is now officially gone."
Grab: "The process was actually a Master of Service Agreement executed with ELANCO... the first document in connection with the shared technology services project, and so there was a separate statement of work that was prepared for the tech services. The next proposal was for 'shared executive services,' and there was a statement of work prepared for that and then that was provided to the board. The board had that full review in advance of it's action on it and in fact I had reviewed as well and prepared a memorandum for the board outlining any issues or concerns I had with it and after review of that, the board acted on it at the June meeting."
Detz: "In the paper last week . . . Dr. Hollister does in fact have a job description, but board members haven't been given the final job description or the organizational chart. To me that sounds like they didn't have the job description prior to entering into this, so how you can vote on something you don't know what's contained in it?"
Grab: "Just to clarify, the statement of work actually contained for both Doctor Hollister and for the director of operations contained the Schedule A and the Schedule B that listed what those duties would be, so they actually were flushed out. Now whether it included every potential, possible duty that each one might engage in, I don't think that that was anybody's understanding. The idea was to outline as fully and as clearly as both districts could what the vision was, but there certainly was an outline of what those duties would be for both the superintendent and for the director of operations and that was in that SOW."
Detz: "The $165,000... I'm a little concerned that it is more than that. What ELANCO can bill Columbia for says all reasonable travel, communications including cell phones, administrative and other out-of-pocket expenses incurred by ELANCO. Is that in addition to the $165,000 or is that incorporated in that $165,000?"
Grab: "That's scheduled to be in addition to."
Detz: "I see some board members that have a confused look."
Board member Kathy Hohenadel: "That is not what I thought that we agreed to. I thought we agreed to a maximum of $165,000 that was not to exceed $165,000 and to be billed in monthly installments."
Detz: "I'd like to have clarification on that."
Grab: "The invoices are subject to approval by CBSD board."
Detz: "Will internet charges be billed back to Columbia?"
Hollister: "None of that, none of that, will be a part, that's all part of the contracted service. And I'm being very careful about not using my folks paid from Lancaster County as part of this. I'm trying to determine as accurate as possible what the cost is and what the savings is to both school districts. I'm trying to be very careful with every expenditure. The milage is going to be very minimal."
Detz: If, after the one year agreement, we hire Mr. Strickler on, we need to pay ELANCO a Finders fee of 25 % of his final contract or $30,000. Is $30,000 the top, the max that we would pay?"
Grab: Clarified that "It is the greater of, 25% or $30,000." The only time Columbia would have to pay that is if it wants to keep the DOO on as an employee, but ELANCO also had work for the DOO and basically offered the DOO a position. Under those circumstances then Columbia Borough School District would have to reimburse ELANCO for those costs."
Detz: "There is talk of a $200,000 grant being available for this, who will write and apply for that grant? Whoever writes it are they get the majority of funds for that grant or are we going to see a recoup of the $165,000?"
Hollister: "We haven't seen the grant, so I really don't know what the requirements will be or how that money will be allocated. In my mind's eye, it would be shared, but I can't promise you that until I see what the requirements are."
Detz: "Is there a timeline?"
Detz: "If CBSD has to hire someone to do additional work that cannot be done by DOO or superintendent...how high could that cost go?"
Grab: "The idea was to create a safety valve provision in the agreement that says if something else needs to be provided that neither the superintendent nor the DOO can provide, there's a mechanism in the agreement that provides for that, but of course all that would have to be approved by both boards, including any additional expenditure."
Detz: "We won't have a true cost of this position.
"Dr. Hollister if you could speak to this, one of you're things is to evaluate the administration of Columbia Borough. I'm wondering where you'll get that input since you are only contracted to be here four days a month."
Hollister: "I would get that input from from multiple sources, including the DOO, as well as other folks and interact with the principals. But ultimately, the meeting times I have with them, I will articulate very clear goals and we will measure against those goals."
Detz: "Will the DOO be evaluating teachers?"
Hollister: "No. He cannot."
Detz: "When you say he would be giving input, I was wondering like, what would kind of input he would be giving?"
Hollister: "For example, I'm shooting from the hip, 'How quickly do principals respond to parent requests? I mean, that's something he can give me. How adept are principals at solving problems related to the scope of that? Communication.' Now we've got to be very careful in fact, getting back to the job description, one of the things that's delaying the publication, I actually went to vet our job description with PDE to make sure that certification doesn't have a problem with what were doing. There's a lot of folks who have to check on that job description again because this position doesn't exist anywhere in the commonwealth, so were trying to make sure we cover all the bases."
Hollister: "That's not what I said. I said, that I need to vet our job description to ensure that we are not violating anything that PDE would have us do. The job description doesn't include observations of educational personnel evaluations, so I think we're splitting hairs.
Kronenwetter: Didn't [unintelligible] just say "It includes communication between those certified instructional people and administration and yourself?"
Hollister: "I did."
Kronenwetter: Thats a little scary.
Hollister: "Scary?"
Kronenwetter: "A little scary. I'm a thirty-year educator with an administrative certification, and that just - it threw red flags up."
Sharon Lintner, resident: "The other evening at ELANCO, Dr. Hollister, you told us that you had furloughed 15 teachers and outsourced. Do you anticipate that could happen in Columbia?"
Hollister: "I have no idea. That was five years ago. Things are a little different here now. That was some time ago. We've since hired most of those teachers back, and we've saved a lot. Most of them are back with us."
Blue ribbons line Locust
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Leftovers
My wife asked why I was placing it on the kitchen counter instead of immediately throwing it away. She pressed me on this simple little act because I do have a tendency to deposit dirty dishes in the sink and on the counter instead of putting them right into the dishwasher.
One requires more effort than the other, I guess.
So, I got defensive and replied somewhat flippantly that I needed to keep the rancid gravy there for several months as I was working on an empirical study to reject the null hypothesis that claims flies (and other critters) are not spontaneously generated from inorganic substances.
A scientist used mutton gravy in one of the original studies, but beef gravy, I thought, would serve the same purpose for my experiment, which I wasn’t going to do anyway.
It’s not necessary to understand the preceding arcane, scientific jargon. The theory of spontaneous generation is antiquated and obscure (and long ago debunked). The reason I thought of it is probably because I’m also antiquated and obscure (and often debunked).
Also, it was my way of temporarily evading further discussion about my indolence. I didn’t want to waste my time on any discussion of that. That’s mostly because my wife has plenty of evidence to support her hypothesis that I am somewhat indolent.
I had another incident with leftover chicken gravy not so long ago. The forgotten glop had dehydrated into a crackled yellow plug that easily dropped out of the plastic storage cup when I ditched it, which made for a neat and easy disposal. It just made a muffled plunk when it hit the trash can.
Don’t ask me why leftover gravy so seldom gets used in our house. Maybe it’s because we only make gravy in small measures and very little goes unused during a meal. What’s left can easily get jammed to the back of the refrigerator and overlooked.
Gravy is not the only leftover that gets shuffled throughout the refrigerator until it is forgotten. If there really was statistical significance that beasties could be spontaneously generated from a variety of non-living substances, our refrigerator, at various times, could become a real and thriving ecosystem unto itself.
Perhaps a different organism could arise from each different leftover.
Imagine what living thing could slink from a neglected blue-green, furry tomato. What would you think if you opened the refrigerator door and saw a legless, gape-mouthed creature pop up from the casserole dish containing 2-month-old scalloped potatoes?
And what about the brute that could be growing inside a plastic vessel half full of dried-out baked beans? Could a new species of fowl be spawned from that leftover Thanksgiving turkey leg?
I can only imagine the screams of terror if I went for a glass of juice and saw the toothy grin of a scaly fiend just waiting to be set free from the crisper drawer. If ever there was a time when my wife needed to be there for me, that would be it.
My wife claims that there is a strong correlation between forgotten leftovers and my laziness. I reminded her that one of the basic tenets of statistics is that correlation does not imply causation.
Right then, I knew I had overplayed my hand.
Mike Clark writes a regular column for The Globe Leader newspaper in New Wilmington, Pa. He has a Bachelor of Science degree in organizational behavior/applied psychology from Albright College. Mike lives outside Columbia, Pa., and can be contacted at mikemac429@aol.com.
Friday, August 19, 2016
Shared superintendent in Lancaster County raises concerns
Shared superintendent in Lancaster County raises concerns:
http://fox43.com/2016/08/18/shared-superintendent-in-lancaster-county-raises-concerns/
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Board vice president criticizes ELANCO contract
Columbia School Board meeting tonight, Thursday August 18 at 7 p.m.
The Columbia Borough School Board will hold its regular monthly meeting tonight, Thursday, August 18, at 7 p.m. at the District Administration Center, 200 North Fifth Street, Columbia, PA.
The meeting is open to the public.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Prudhomme's Lost Cajun Kitchen to close in Columbia
Prudhomme's Lost Cajun Kitchen, which has operated for 26 years in Columbia, will close at the end of September.
MORE:
http://lancasteronline.com/business/local_business/prudhomme-s-lost-cajun-kitchen-to-close-in-columbia/article_49266dc8-64c2-11e6-a3e4-63952b3a1534.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=user-share
Vandalism and litter plague Columbia parks
Columbia officials are outraged by vandalism in borough parks.
MORE:
http://lancasteronline.com/insider/community/vandalism-and-litter-plague-columbia-parks/article_4c76e238-63c7-11e6-93d9-73a0d5c34dff.html