Priorities, priorities!

In the sleepy little borough of Columbia, Muriel Bagge and Courage doze, making nary a sound, save for Muriel's soft snoring, as the local news spews forth from the TV.  The borough's ills affect them not!

Until something earthshaking jolts Muriel fully awake: NUDE DANCING! The mere mention shocks her into the realization that the end of the world is near, very near!

And it takes Courage to summarize the situation . . .

Courage The Cowardly Dog and Muriel Bagge are copyright by Cartoon Network and Stretch Films/John R. Dilworth. No other rights, ownerships, or possessions are intended or inferred.

Will Musser's Markets sell beer?

http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/821356_Coming-to-some-grocery-lists--beer.html

Are they in Columbia?

A look inside Lancaster city's gangs

http://m.wgal.com/news/A-look-inside-Lancaster-city-s-gangs/-/17430522/19151272/-/o8aqh8z/-/index.html

And now, the latest idiotic craze . . .

"Gallon Smashing" is the act in which pranksters pretend to trip and fall in a grocery store while carrying milk or juice, thus spilling it. The falls are completely fake, and pranksters trick bystanders into thinking they are actually hurt.
Go HERE for more info.

Much ado about "NOTHING"?

The answer is NEITHER, when it's done behind closed doors.

Three hurt in building collapse in Ephrata, but why the mystery?

A partial building collapse Tuesday injured three employees at a modular construction firm in Ephrata.

According to media reports, reporters were being kept at a distance from the scene, and none of the spokespersons at the site would describe the nature of the building, except to say it is intended for government use.  All the secrecy merely raises the curiosity level.  Will it become a drone-building facility?  A surveillance center for spying on citizens?

One thing is for sure: The building collapse is a metaphor for our broken federal government.

http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/819656_Three-hurt-in-building-collapse-in-Ephrata.html

Weis Markets in Lititz gets OK from borough to sell beer - LancasterOnline.com

In Lititz, you'll soon be able to go grocery shopping while buzzed. Of course, you could do that anywhere anyway, but Lititz Borough seems to be promoting the activity.  Weis Markets in Lititz will likely become the first grocery store in Lancaster County to sell beer after borough council Tuesday night approved the transfer of a liquor license.

The supermarket hopes to open a 30-seat cafe that will serve beer and also sell six-packs.

http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/819795_Weis-Markets-in-Lititz-gets-OK-from-borough-to-sell-beer.html

I guess anything goes when you're the "Coolest Small Town in America," but can you imagine the snide comments from surrounding towns if Columbia had been the first to do this?